The lies Korea told me.

To be honest, I did not know a whole lot about Korea before I decided to pick my life up and move here. I knew random details about the Korean War, I knew that their currency was the Won and I knew as much about North Korea as Team America: World Police had taught me. However, that was about the jist of my knowledge. The most important facts that I knew to be true were that I would be paid well, teaching Korean kids English and living in a completely different culture and environment than I had ever experienced before. All those facts remain true, but 6 months into this glorious adventure, I have learned a few more facts about Korea that no one shared with me and that, frankly, I wish they had.

These are the lies told to me before I came to Korea, either by people I know or the recruiting company that sent me to the Korean government office who hired me. While I still wholeheartedly would recommend coming to Korea to anyone who wants to experience a different culture, meet amazing people and explore a sensational part of the world, these are the truths I offer that were not given to me:

Lie #1: Korean students are all obedient and well-mannered to each other and to their teachers.
- Excuse my language, but yeah f*$@ing right. These little boys constantly fight each other, and little girls as well. Something that was the hardest for me to get use to was watching a 4th grade boy punch a girl in the arm and have my Korean co-teacher hardly blink or notice. I doubt I've gone a week without having a student cry over something as little as losing a class game or not getting the colored pencil he/she wanted. Also, the older the students are the more they attempt to swear and talk trash in Korean because they think I don't understand them. I should have known that sneakiness is a universal trait in children.

Lie #2: Korea has all 4 seasons of weather.
- Excuse me again, but yeah f*$@ing right. Sure, it's hot in the summer, cool/rainy in the spring, crisp and cool in the fall and cold in the winter, but that's not even the start of describing Korean weather. The humidity starts in the spring and has yet to let up. I sweat through my clothes walking from my front door to the subway, which is about 5 minutes and not at all up hill. And in case you've missed the insane weather updates, the monsoon rain was heavier this summer than it has been in over a century. I've walked to school in board shorts and rain boots and a change of clothes in a plastic bag more times than I can count. I'll give you "4 seasons", Korea.. but they're crap seasons that almost all include people soaking wet of either rain or sweat.

Lie #3: You'll be completely supported and assisted in and out of the classroom.
- One advantage teaching in Korea has over teaching in other foreign countries is that we are given a co-teacher in each and ever class. Our co-teachers are native Koreans who speak English and Korean, which is super helpful when it comes to the language barrier we experience with students. However, that is about the only consistent statement I can make about co-teachers. Some co-teachers are barely able to communicate with their English and are far from fluent. Some co-teachers ask us foreign teachers to plan all the lessons for class and others insist on doing everything themselves while we're relegated to being mouthpieces and mouse-clickers for Power Point lessons. Some are kind and helpful and take their foreign teachers to set up bank accounts and get phone plans, but others don't interact with us at all outside of the classroom and that makes doing even the simplest tasks nearly impossible. Sure, a lot of people in Korea speak English, but not a lot of people are fluent in English. I never am angry at this, just frustrated with myself for not being able to communicate enough in Korean since I'm in Korea. It's no one's obligation to know enough English to talk to me, but since I live here, I believe it's my obligation to speak enough Korean to communicate with the people around me. Still, it would save me a lot of stress and confusion if I had a co-teacher who would just come with me to the pharmacy to ask for Ibuprofen. In my experience, this is the biggest flaw in the EPIK program: the inconsistency of co-teachers and school support.

Lie #4: It might take a while for you to adapt to the culture.
- In my case, total lie. There's a Starbucks around the corner from my house, a Subway shop a few blocks away, and I was thrown in the mix with all the other foreigners teaching in Seoul during a 5 day orientation. It is odd sometimes to glance around the subway car and not only be the only white person, but be the focal staring point of many people. Still, it isn't hard to find the comforts of home in this foreign city.

Lie #5: There is TONS of great and cheap shopping to be done in Korea.
- This is 100% true... but only if you're a 100 pounds or less female with size 7 or smaller feet and under 5'4" or a slim built man under 5'10" with women-sized feet. Clothes are everywhere and can be found for really cheap, but if you don't fit any of the before mentioned criteria, you better not mind H&M or Forever 21, because that's the only place you're going to find clothes that don't cut off your circulation.

Now that I've ranted on what I wish I knew before I arrived in Korea, let me rave a bit about what I've found here.

Love #1: America might be known as a Melting Pot, but there is no better melting pot of interesting people than the foreign teachers in Korea.
- From all over the world, of all different ages, and of all different personalities are the foreign teachers in Seoul. Some crazy, some too sane for their own good and so many are impossible to forget. Teaching abroad is like going to college, but on steroids. You can't help but meet so many different people with their own awesome stories. The people are what keep me sane in the crazy times.

Yes, I hang out with these people..

Love #2: Seoul is safer than any place in America (bold statement, but I consider it to be true).
- Koreans can't own weapons (oh how I wish that was true for Americans.. especially the ignorant ones), there are hardly ever robberies, drugs, and all the crimes that come along with them, are pretty much non-existant, Seoul has one of the smallest amounts of sexual harassment of any other city of its size and muggings/pick-pocketing are in no way on the same scale as big cities like New York, London or Paris. Most of the people I know don't even lock their doors, even at night. From what I've gathered, it's just a cultural thing. Koreans simply don't do those things because it's shameful to them. Statistically, most of the crime done in Seoul is done by foreigners.

Love #3: No matter how many times I see it, passed out drunk men are always hilarious.
- Korea reigns mighty as the 12th drunkest country in the world and I can say with certainty that the men of this country work hard to keep that title. Soju, the most common drink in Korea, is mostly to blame for this. They drink it in shots, it tastes like rotten vodka, and it knocks you on your ass. But seriously, these people drink like it's their job. I've seen perfectly professional businessmen bent over drunk at 7 PM on a Tuesday and, well, less professional businessmen passed out on the sidewalk drunk at 4 AM on Saturday morning. But every time I see it, it lights up my life.

Love #4: Living is cheap.
- Groceries are cheap, my bills are dirt cheap, I don't pay rent, public transportation is amazing and far less than paying for gas back home, I don't get taxed on my paychecks or pay taxes, and a bottle of soju is about $1. Sure, it's still easy to spend money living it up, but Korea is certainly a place that is easy to make a savings account grow.

Love #5: The food is beyond amazing.
- Excluding the twice deep-fried and grease soaked street food, Korean food is some of the most natural, unprocessed, real food to be found. Preservatives? No way. Pesticides? Never. Natural and healthy in the simplest ways? You bet ya. It is easy to eat unhealthily here (just like anywhere in the world), but traditional Korean food is, in general, quite nutritious and healthy. I can't imagine a day without kimchi, I now put chili paste in just about everything I eat and nothing in the world makes me happier than a hot bowl of bibim bap. This cuisine is a nutrition-conscious persons paradise.

I could easily add a few more items to both of these lists, but, as usual, this post has turned in to a novel in length instead of a note. I can't believe it's been 6 months since I left home to make a new home here in Seoul and there have definitely been some gripes and graces about this crazy place. Still, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.